Please stop making us read bad Chris Rock, Will Smith Oscar slap tweets. Please.

It has been said that there is no such thing as a good tweet. While that remains up for debate, no one would deny the existence of those that are unfathomably bad. This is the Input Bad Tweet Hall of Fame.

ENTRY #003 — ?: All Y’all

I’m going to level with you: We started this Input Bad Tweet Hall of Fame recently as a way to quickly parse through some of the worst takes that go viral on the internet during any given news cycle. Brevity makes the analysis less of a headache while still managing to tap into those sweet, sweet, clicks that media sites like us regrettably rely upon. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for us, there is a lot of dumb shit on Twitter...

Which leads us to the past 24 hours: C’mon, now. Do we really have to go through all the obvious, unnecessary, painfully bad reactions to Will Smith’s impromptu slap of Chris Rock following the latter’s extremely bad joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s issues with alopecia? The answer?

Of course we goddamn do. This a hell of our own engineering, people.

The Good — Are there a couple posts that made us smile? Sure, we won’t lie to you. There’s this one, and this one, and this one. Hell, we’ll even include the collages of celebrity reactions at the Oscars. Just look at their ridiculous faces! Pretty solid content. But we’re pretty confident in determining that’s all anyone truly needs for slap-related memes. Moving on...

The Bad — Good God, are there some bad reactions out there right now. There’s this one below that technically was a redo of an earlier, just-as-awful tweet. It, too, has since vanished... but nothing ever truly dies on the internet.

To save time, here’s a handy recap of four public figures’ responses that each deserve their own induction into the Hall of Fame. Pretty sure we’d opt for “The Will Smith Doctrine” as the worst of the quartet, but we are open to having our minds changed.

The Ugly — Have QAnon cultists gotten ahold of the event? Oh, and how!

In summation, the following references/jokes have been made a thousand times over since last night: Fresh Prince theme song parodies, “Will Smith doesn’t cuss” references, Spiral (remember that movie?) callbacks, and Chris Rock crying in New Jack City memes. These are all accounted for already; there is no need to use them. We’re begging you.

Speaking of New Jack City, why aren’t we all talking about this much better, unplanned meetup of pop culture icons?

It’s Tony Hawk and Wesley Snipes, together in the flesh for presumably the first time since this wonderful online instance a few years back. Why aren’t we all talking about this instead? It’s not like it was even a very good slap!