This tweet conflating student loan debt with abortion rights gave me the spins

It has been said that there is no such thing as a good tweet. While that remains up for debate, no one would deny the existence of those that are unfathomably bad. This is the Input Bad Tweet Hall of Fame.

Entry #011: Kevin Sorbo

Renaissance philosopher Sir Francis Bacon is often cited as having said, “The job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery.” And, oh, what great artists we have among us today, on Twitter.

I’ll admit, I had to reread this latest Bad Tweet from apparent serial bad-tweeter Kevin Sorbo several times to make sure I’d correctly read what I read. It simply does not make sense. But, in its spectacular failure to mean anything, it has transcended the bounds of logic to exist in a higher plane. It is Mystery. It is Art.

“So my body my choice,” actor Kevin Sorbo tweeted on Sunday. “… except for when it comes to student loan debt? That’s when someone else should step in?”

Now, you might be asking yourself a couple of questions, like, How do these two issues in any way relate?; or Did this guy obtain the funds for college in a midnight pact requiring flesh and blood sacrifice, acting not of his own free will but under the control of a malevolent entity?; or, actually, Who even is this man? These are all valid questions.

Unfortunately, I only have the answer to one. He was Hercules in the ‘90s. I had to Google it. As the great Keke Palmer once said, “I don’t know who this man is. He could be walking down the street and I wouldn’t know a thing. Sorry to this man.”

I have to thank him, though, because this tweet and the replies sustained me on an especially tiresome Monday. You get the sense that he really thinks he did it with this one, and, you know what, he did.

It just goes to show there’s no better way to reclaim relevance than by posting artfully bad takes on Twitter. Luckily for this man, Kevin Sorbo’s a master of his craft.