The Hoff, apparently strapped for cash, auctions 14-foot model from SpongeBob movie

Something’s going on with David Hasselhoff, but his loss might be your gain. The patron saint of Germany started auctioning off 150 lots of mostly Baywatch and Knight Rider memorabilia in late December 2020. One of the outlier items available, however, is from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie — a 14-foot horizontal model of The Hoff himself.

With 17 days left in the auction and the bidding already breaking six figures, it’s feeling unlikely that the final victor will be making a wholesome purchase.

Big Dave’s big adventure — As you wrack your brain for possible display options or reasons for acquiring this model, it’s hard to find a bright spot. The combination of the terrifying facial expression and sheer size of “Big Dave” removes it from any childhood connections one might have to the SpongeBob franchise. Only two people have bid on Big Dave so far, so it seems as though others find it equally unsettling, but the real Hasselhoff expects it to hit at least $750,000.

Why is Normal Dave cleaning house? — You can see why Hasselhoff wouldn't want this creepy effigy around, even in storage, but why are the other 149 items for sale? Many are small memorabilia items like t-shirts that average around $150, but KITT from Knight Rider is also up for grabs. The famous car has already surpassed estimates at a blistering $450,000.

An undisclosed portion of the proceeds is going to an unknown number of charities so it's unclear how much Hasselhoff himself will keep, but financial troubles have seemed to be lurking in the shadows. Years ago, he got his spousal support payments to ex-wife Pamela Bach down from $21,000 per month to only $5,000. He claimed that, despite his income, the combination of the payments and his $66,000-a-month spending habits plus additional living expenses didn’t allow him to save. That agreement expired at the end of November 2020, but no details of a new arrangement have been revealed to the public.

Considering that Hasselhoff also looks a bit like a hostage in his social media promotions for the auction, something feels fishy about it all.