The Apple exec wardrobe is Big Kohl's Energy

While my colleagues here at Input are watching the Apple Event intently for all the tech reveals you care so dearly about, I'm here tuning out the words and looking at the fits. While the female executives show signs of daring (and, like, a personality) their male counterparts have gone with a tried-and-true look for their middle age cohort.

It's casual Friday over in Cupertino, where these obscenely rich dudes look that they shop at any department store that can be found in middle America. Casual button-downs, inoffensive jeans, and nondescript belts — you know the look. The only thing that seems to change as these white guys toss each other prompts are their color choices and selection of footwear, the latter of which exist within the standard cadre of your dad's footwear rotation. It's big Kohl's energy, and as such, I've decided to scour the website for America's largest department store so that you can recreate the look.

I'm not not making fun of these guys, but it's hard to be mad at their choice of apparel either. Getting fits off would be a frivolous endeavor for the people tasked with making the new devices we're all but obligated to buy, and other older white dudes with less at stake have fallen into the same patterns to save themselves from wasted energy. While not quite on par with Steve Jobs' famed uniform, the idea is the same: think less about what you wear and more about... everything else. With that in mind, here are the pieces you need to make the look your own, whether it be for earnest adoption or shits and gigs, straight from Kohl's. I have no doubt that these dudes are wearing more expensive versions of the same things, but their increased budget makes for no appreciable upgrade.

Croft & Barrow® Classic-Fit Easy Care Spread Collar Dress Shirt ($10-11 with discount)

Pictured above is the waiter-approved black worn by papa Tim Cook and Josh Schaffer, director of Swift Frameworks. If you want a little more color to look like Craig Federighi, SVP of Software Engineering, opt for the "Estate Blue" (Tan France-esque hair not included).

Lee Regular Fit Bootcut Jeans ($44)

What more can I say about these than that they are indeed jeans? Cook opted for black, as did Kevin Lynch, VP of Technology (along with a black T-shirt). Federighi and Schaffer, meanwhile, went with a dark prewash and its more faded variation, respectively. Besides the color, there was no discernable difference amongst the jeans — and that's the kind of anonymity you'll get with this pair of Lees.

Croft & Barrow® Feather-Edge Belt ($28)

It's black, it's leather, and it holds up your pants. It does the job, and that's all that really matters.

Perry Men's Ortholite Bicycle-Toe Dress Shoes ($40)

What is it with dads and oddly square-toed shoes? I have no idea, but they love 'em, and you can too for just $40. It's the footwear of choice for Federighi.

Nike Revolution 5 Men's Running Shoes ($65)

Cook opted to go more casual with sneakers. And while I couldn't quite peg the exact model from the wide angle, they look a lot like these unfussy Nikes. Considering the dad sneaker movement, wearing these could be an exercise in irony that's downright fashionable.