Balenciaga turned a soccer jersey into the weirdest scarf you'll ever see

Balenciaga is continuing to riff on soccer, né football, culture with its usual flair for the bizarre. Following on its cleats for everyday wear and exorbitantly prices shirts, the Demna Gvasalia-led house has transformed a jersey into one of the weirdest scarves you’ll ever see.

The polyester accessory wraps its striped sleeves around your necks, while the chest of the jersey becomes a hood to drape over your head. Wearing it to a match would almost certainly provoke mockery, and the polyester makeup doesn’t sound warm enough, leaving the question of when exactly you should wear it. The answer, it seems, would be whenever you’re prepared to do the most with a sporty look that says nothing about your knowledge, or lack thereof, of the gentleman’s game played by hooligans.

Not your typical club scarf — While soccer fans don’t seem to dress down in club attire as much as those in American stadiums, the club scarf is the go-to accessory in stadiums abroad. It’s the perfect way to keep warm and show your allegiance in the depths of winter, and there’s nothing quite like seeing the stand full of fans holding up their scarves in unison.

Balenciaga already makes its own team-neutral scarves out of jacquard wool, but its latest creation pays homage to soccer while encouraging you to let your freak flag fly. It could be perfect for, say, “winter” in Los Angeles — and really, it would look significantly less ridiculous than someone wearing a puffer coat in 60-degree weather.

If you’re tempted by Balenciaga’s hooded soccer scarf, you can pick it up now in either red or blue directly through the luxury house’s website for a staggering $650. We won’t call you a wanker if you pick it up, but don’t be surprised if someone else does.