Forget the Snuggie, Ikea’s ridiculous wearable quilt turns into a pillow

The Snuggie is the bane of good taste, a cheap piece of fleece that is the wearable embodiment of depression. But what if the Swedes put their minimalist and utilitarian minds toward upgrading the buy-on-TV uniform of giving up? Thanks to Ikea, we now have an answer.

The cheap Swedish furniture giant has unveiled the “Fältmal,” a two-in-one wearable quilt that transforms into a pillow. It looks a hell of a lot like a sleeping bag — but it also looks a hell of a lot better than the Snuggie. Put your arms into the sleeves, button up, and you’ll be shrouded from neck to feet as you become your laziest self. And once you’re ready to become nominally less of a loaf, you can zip up the unit to turn it into a gorp-y pillow.

Even if Ikea’s Fältmal is a more stylish and versatile version of the Snuggie, by no means is it an essential item. As ridiculous as it is, we just wish it would have dropped earlier in the pandemic. Now, we can finally look forward realistically at returning to our normal lives — and the last thing we want to do is spend our days in a gigantic sleeping bag onesie.

What’s it made of? — The Ikea Fältmal has a nylon exterior with polyester insulation that’s at least 80 percent recycled. This makeup may sound intimidating to launder — which you’re going to need to do regularly if you watch time pass and shed skin cells in it — but Ikea says you just have to machine wash warm and tumble dry on low.

This Swedish Snuggie is one size fits all, coming in at a massive 75 inches long and 47 inches wide. So if you’re a pocket man or short king, prepare to swim in your Fältmal. Ikea doesn’t list the specifications of the Fältmal when it’s in pillow mode, however. If you wanna know how much real estate it’ll take up on your couch, you’ll just have to cop and find out.

Get your Swedish Snuggie now — The Faltmal is available now through Ikea’s website and select physical stores in the United States. At just $35, it wouldn’t be the most unreasonable COVID purchase — and if you come to regret buying it, at least you’ve got a good pillow to take camping with you.