Virgil Abloh's weird bubble water fountain is here for thirsty hypebeasts

Somehow, there’s a whole population of adults out there who can’t seem to keep properly hydrated on their own. The baseline human experience of drinking water has born countless motivational, and sometimes threatening, memes — and right now we’re in the midst of a bunch of people freaking out about Cristiano Ronaldo shunning Coca-Cola in favor of “aqua.”

If the mere act of putting vital water into your body as needed is so difficult, perhaps some hype is what will finally do the trick. As part of his years-long partnership with Evian, Abloh has designed a bubble water fountain that looks like it was made for cats — a similarity only made more uncanny by the cat-starring promotional photos.

A weird 5-liter pouch stores water for the dispenser, which itself is made of 100-percent recycled plastic. As brand speak tells it, this is no mere fountain but a design that wields the “iconicity of Evian as an interior decoration to be showcased in the home.”

May we remind you that water is cheap — Water from your faucet is dirt cheap, can be made nice and cold in any receptacle stored in your fridge, and can be filtered with a modest investment in case you aren’t in a locale that produces H₂O immediately drinkable.

If for some reason this isn’t good enough for you, Abloh’s Evian fountain can be yours for approximately $60 (right now, the gadget is only available on the brand’s French website). While your initial purchase will come with two of the 5-liter pouches, re-upping will cost you around $10 for each additional set of two.

This whole thing is goofy, as capitalism has led us to the point where even water needs to be “hype.” Evian says each pouch uses 60-percent less plastic than comparable non-reusable water bottles, but the most sustainable thing you can do in your pursuit of vital hydration is to not fall for this stupid shit.