A porn site finally launched a 'panic button'... wait, why don't they all have this?

Self-isolation has now reached the point where we barely know what day it is anymore; binge-watching has become boring, those productivity projects you tried to start have been pushed aside again, and the internet is only Animal Crossing and doom. Stuck with a lot of pent-up energy (read: horniness) and nowhere to go, what else is there to do that’s still enjoyable but, I don’t know, watch porn and masturbate? Except, even that kind of sucks right now.

If you don’t live alone, which many of us do not, the chances of someone walking in on you have risen exponentially thanks to quarantining. And, whether that’s a partner, a roommate, or a family member... you don’t need me to explain why that’s a horrifying situation. In any case, rejoice: a porn site has launched a panic button that will cover for you if someone shows up by surprise.

Cam site ImLive announced the new feature on April 1 (and insists it’s not a gag) amid a spike in its website traffic stemming from global social distancing measures. The killswitch — bright red yet still unintrusive to your viewing — will instantly redirect the page to another website in the event of a walk-in.

We need this now more than ever — It’s a simple yet, dare I say it, genius tool that should be commonplace across the adult entertainment ecosystem. One day, hopefully sooner rather than later, we’ll all be able to leave our homes and interact with other people in the flesh again. But the threat of getting walked in on by your housemate will live on.

“Amidst the coronavirus and the quarantines that are being put into effect, it’s important that people still enjoy themselves,” said Adrian Stoneman, VP of ImLive.com. “They just have to do that from home now, while in the company of partners and/or roommates. For adult interactions — when privacy is often preferred — people must now contend with others suddenly being in the same room as them.”

“Now people can engage in adult interactions without getting caught, and get off with confidence,” Stoneman added.

If you hit ImLive’s ‘Panic Button,’ it will pull up the CDC website by default. But, if that’s not your escape vibe, it’s also customizable. With a decent internet connection, the webpage switch is instantaneous from when you press ‘kill screen.’ So, as long as you didn’t have the volume blasting, you should be good. It won’t help you in the scramble to cover yourself up, but it will at least take one obstacle out of the equation.

More of this, please — In times like these we must look for the silver lining, lest we be consumed by existential dread. Perhaps more porn sites will follow suit and adopt similar panic button-style escape routes. We could certainly use it.