Apple says we're too dumb to safely install third-party apps

Apple is loathe to change its current App Store business model, and it’s pretty easy to see why — it’s essentially an absolutely gigantic, passive moneymaking machine. In fact, some might even go so far as to describe their monopolistic decisions and ridiculously steep profit taxation rates as “Mafia extortion.” Unfortunately for them, addressing their untenable strategy is one of the few things most Americans (and their politicians) can agree on right now.

As the time draws nearer for legal force to finally change Apple’s policies, we’re starting to see the company throw out some truly ridiculous reasons why it believes the status quo should remain the same: customers’ devices would apparently be vastly more susceptible to malware and other issues if they were allowed to use third-party downloads outside the official App Store.

In other words, Apple thinks users are just too damn stupid to be trusted with their own digital decisions... because Tim Cook and company have done so well on their own.

We’re the only ones keeping you safe — In an open letter to the Senate Justice Committee reviewed by CNBC, Apple’s senior director of government affairs, Timothy Powderly, argues, “The bills put consumers in harm’s way because of the real risk of privacy and security breaches.” Later in the letter, he warns that “if Apple is forced to enable sideloading, millions of Americans will likely suffer malware attacks on their phones that would otherwise have been stopped.”

The bills scheduled to be marked up by the Senate Judiciary Committee on Thursday wouldn’t force Apple to allow any and all apps onto consumers’ devices — Apple is still more than welcome (some might even say expected) to continue patrolling for scam apps. What consumers and lawmakers are hoping to change is the company’s insistence that any and all programs must first go through the App Store, and thus pay tribute to our iOS overlords.

“Let’s be clear — this multi-trillion dollar company is more than capable of protecting privacy and security while still giving consumers greater choice by allowing competition,” a spokesperson for Sen. Amy Klobuchar told CNBC.

Millions fall victim to malware and other digital headaches each year, often on Apple’s devices. Funneling all apps through the App Store doesn’t help lessen that damage, it simply further lines the corporation’s pockets. To argue that we can’t be discerning enough in our own app choices is about as desperate as it is bold on Apple’s part.