Leaked Facebook Watch should win over the coveted ‘dad pics’ market

Facebook (sorry, Meta... that’s gonna take some adjustment) announced a massive overhaul this week — a very bad overhaul focused on the nebulous, terrifying concept of a Zuckerberg-driven “metaverse,” but an overhaul nonetheless. And although it’s been less than a day since the whole Meta rebrand initiative, we’re already getting leaks of potential future plans for the company.

Yesterday evening, Bloomberg reported a leaked image of an upcoming Meta smartwatch aimed at competing with the Apple Watch, and... well, it looks like a dumb Apple Watch knockoff. With rounded edges, a single control button, and a detachable strap, pretty much the only thing that visually sets it apart from its competition is a visible front-facing camera at the bottom of the watch face. Bloomberg notes that this indicates Meta will lean into the device as a video call and chat tool, but we already know who will be using it the most: middle-aged men taking awkwardly angled selfies to use as their social media profile pictures.

Codename ‘Milan’ — Software coding within Facebook View appears to point towards the upcoming product potentially being named “Milan,” but c’mon. There is nothing Meta can do to prevent everyone from just referring to this thing as the Facebook Watch. In any case, there is a solid chance the Meta-Facebook-Milan-Watch will be officially announced next year, although that timetable is flexible. Bloomberg also notes there are “three generations of the product aimed at different release time frames.”

Squaring off against Apple — If we do see a 2022 release for the Facebook Watch, that means the device will be going up against potentially three new Apple Watch models, “including an Apple Watch Series 8 with a body temperature sensor, a new low-end Apple Watch SE and a rugged model geared at athletes.” We personally find it hard to envision enough people out there eager to strap Facebook to their wrists at all times, but hey, it’s a new, Meta world out there.